This episode is yet another Book Club: American Gods by Neil Gaiman. This is the quintessential geek books out there.

Gaiman is a Brit and has basically come to America and told us who we are. It is interesting to see from an outsider who we are based on the perspective of other people. (We saw this with Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight series.)

The book opens with the character, Shadow. We don’t really know why he is in prison, but he just keeps his head down and serves his own time. Days before he is to be released, he finds out that his wife has been killed in a car accident with his best friend. He ends up being released a few days early for his wife’s funeral. While flying home, he meets up with a strange man (whom he feels is a plant to screw him over). He has to deplane and ends up renting a car and driving to the middle of nowhere, and weird guy from the plane is sitting there (Mr. Wednesday).

Shadow decides to take the job offered to him with Mr. Wednesday (for reasons unknown to anyone). Shadow makes it home to the end of the funeral to find out that his best friend and wife were having an affair. He gives the gold coin from the leprechaun to his wife.

There is a lot of background info on what happened and why, but the majority of the book talks about the old gods (Odin, Loki, Easter, etc.) versus the new gods (TV, technology, Internet, etc.) and how when people leave their homelands they tend to leave their old Gods behind.

If you haven’t read this book, please do so and then listen, as it is a book club and full of spoilers.

Upcoming episodes are going to be STAR WARS related, so be prepared for that!!

Make sure to follow us on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. You can also check out our online store HERE. (Make sure you turn your content filter to OFF to see the good stuff!)

In this episode, we are covering our favorite 1985 Summer Movies Part 1. It’s been 30 years since all of these movies came out, so we took a note from Operaman on what he would like to hear!

There were so many movies that came out in 1985, but we narrowed it down to just the summer movies. We picked our top favorites, and this show will be split in two so that we can get all of them in.

Part 1 – Favorites

• Back to the Future (the first one) – This has become such a classic, and this year there has been so much talk about this since we are now living in the year where he goes forward to in the second movie. This movie was just good fun and we still love it.
• Goonies – LOVE this movie! Liz’s Goonies shirt still gets a lot of notice, even from younger kids. There is a lot of suspension of disbelief in this movie, but it is still pretty awesome.
• Weird Science – The age old tale of dorky boys unable to get a girlfriend. We can’t talk to girls, we have way high expectations of who we should be dating (hello, Kelly LeBrock), but the men were pretty unattractive.
• (Breakfast Club did come out in 1985, but not in the summer. But we still love it!)
• Honorable Mention: National Lampoon’s European Vacation – This wasn’t on our top list, but we still have to mention it. Probably the first PG-13 movie, and we got dragged out when the boobs came out.
• Teen Wolf – So cheesy and stupid, but we LOVED it. It’s really a bad premise when the guy isn’t popular until he became a werewolf. But he leaves all his nerd friends in the dust, which sucks, but it was still fantastic in it’s level of cheese.
• Honorable Mention: Mad Max Thunderdome – TINA!!!
• Explorers – Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix, Jason Presson – Dreams about the pattern which turns out to be a circuit board and then they build it. They build the ship, The Thunder Road, and manage to get out into space to follow the signal. They make contact with aliens, who have been watching Earth TV, and who turn out to be kids. Good movie at the time, but 30 years later, it doesn’t quite hold us.

Check back in next week for the second part of the 1985 Summer Movies!

(Upcoming book club – American Gods by Neil Gaiman)

In the Holiday Gift Guide episode, Liz and Heather talk about some awesome gifts to give to the geek/nerd in your life.

A big congrats to Liz’s sister on the birth of the newest little nerdy bitch, Miss Olivia! She’s super cute!

It’s hard to buy gifts for geeks, if you are an outsider. Even if you are outside of someone’s specific geek genre, it can be a chore. In this episode, we talk about some good guidelines for buying for others without looking like a tool.

Think Geek is an awesome place to start. They have a fantastic gift giving guide for the holidays, and the “Gifts for Her” isn’t stupid condescending like other lists we have seen.

Tips:

• Look into the fandoms that your geek likes and make sure you get the right one. (Star Trek vs. Star Wars – Do not mix these up)
• Be aware that gaming gifts can be tricky – they may not have the same console, or they may have already bought the latest and greatest. Perhaps a gift card towards a game is a better plan.
• Create a wish list with a lot of stuff on it in various price ranges. Too few things on the wishlist basically ruins the surprise of what people buy for you.
• Order EARLY – Things are often sold out or slow to ship or can be confused with the wrong order, and by the time you realize it is wrong, the thing you want may be sold out.
• Pay attention to the hints they are dropping – or flat out telling you what they want.
• DO NOT fall for the “I don’t want a gift” line if you are dating. It will go badly for you.
• DO NOT buy clothes. You will never get it right. Unless you are my mom.
• Be careful with jewelry. Rings have sizes, but so do necklaces. Cuff bracelets and long necklaces are usually safe.
• Don’t buy slippers. We don’t want them. No one wants them. Unless they are the Monty Python Bunny Slippers. (You also cannot wear slippers with dogs – FYI)
• DO NOT buy a lady any sort of kitchen appliance, apron, or vacuum. Even if they are really cool – don’t fall for it. There is still deep seeded resentment on the feeling that we are supposed to be cleaning.

Specific examples of holiday gift ideas:

• Death Star Waffle Iron
• USB Car Chargers (Flux Capacitor, R2D2, etc)
• D20 Mug and Death Star Tea Infuser
• Hermione’s Time Turner Necklace
• Check out Etsy for handmade gifts – Search for geeky gifts. My favorite is my Pixel People cross-stitch pattern maker where I got my Golden Girls and Star Wars patterns.

Recommendations:

• Liz: Furiously Happy (Book) by Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) – Super funny look at life with mental illness
• Heather: Producer Craig’s 2016 Zoo Calendar – buy a bunch of these and give as gifts.

Bitch of the Week (Liz): White Elephant Gift Exchanges – I keep getting screwed, so I refuse to participate anymore. Bah Humbug.

Check out some of our fun holiday gift ideas on our Pinterest and at our Store.

STAR WARS!!! In this episode, Liz and Heather discuss the new Star Wars movie with fellow nerdy bitches, Sophie and Kitty!

Episode 7: The Force Awakens opens December 18th, and at least 3/4 of us are SUPER excited! This is a Boozylicious episode, thanks to Kitty's Magic Martinis (Star Wars name still pending). We do also give a nod to both the Robot Chicken and Family Guy's versions of Star Wars, which are freaking hilarious. If you haven't seen those, check them out.

We discuss what has been leaked, what hasn't yet been released, and what we are hoping will be released. Also, Star Wars math is wonky. The ages from movie to movie just don't add up.

Anakin may be Jesus. Listen, and we will tell you why. (Also - read Lamb by Christopher Moore) We also play Fuck, Kill, Marry with the Star Wars universe - it doesn't get better than this!

Alert - Po is not the black Stormtrooper - that's Finn. We were drinking. A lot. You don't need to tell us we are wrong. We know it. We admit it. Get off our backs! ;-)

We are all planning on watching the movies again before the movie is released. We will definitely be having a post-release episode discussing the movie which will be full of spoilers and speculations.

And the merchandising! WTF? Star Wars fruit? AT-ATs at the Astros game? Totally overboard, in our bitchy opinions. Please stop changing the shape of our pasta to meet your Force needs.

Recommendations - Go watch everything we have been talking about!

Proper order to watch Star Wars movies: 4,5,6,1,2,3 - This doesn't ruin all of the later reveals.

Follow the shit out of us: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and our Nerdy Bitches Podcast Store

It's Book Club Day! In this episode, Liz and Heather invite other Nerdy Bitches into the studio to discuss this week's Book Club - Dark Disciple:Star Wars by Christie Golden. We brought back Kitty (Boozylicious and Cards Against Humanity episodes), along with new guests Cassi (Sarah and Cassi's Nerdy Adventures [podcast]) and Sophie, to discuss their take on this book. Fair warning - this episode is Boozylicious!

This is the story of Asajj Ventress. Ventress was a character from Star Wars: The Clone Wars, who played the assassin and apprentice of the evil Count Dooku. During the run of the series, Ventress is a thorn in the side of Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, but also ends up being betrayed by Count Dooku, and ultimately takes off freelance with some bounty hunters (including a young Boba Fett). Her storyline was never concluded when the show was cancelled, so this book follows what happens after she leaves.

This book starts out with the Jedi Council deciding that they needed to send someone to assassinate Count Dooku (much to the dismay of Obi-Wan), so they bring in Quinlan Vos, a rogue, undercover Jedi, to go seek the aid of Ventress. We all have a bit of an issue with the Jedi ordering an assassination, which is completely out of character for the Jedi Order. Vos is sent to seek out Ventress under the guise of being a bounty hunter with her. He thinks he is being pretty sneaky at hiding his use of the Force, but in true Ventress-fashion, she figures him out pretty quickly.

Here is the picture of Quinlan Vos, though in our minds he is a combination of Shemar Moore, Lenny Cravitz, and the love-child of Obi-Wan and Han Solo. He's pretty much a badass.

We love how complex Ventress is - she is bad, but she also has the heart of gold, and can kick the ass of any Jedi. She is incredibly clever but still stands back a bit. She has been burned a lot by both the dark and the light and knows better than to trust either side completely. She is a really strong female character in her own right and doesn't define herself by a dude. She is also willing to kill him when he turns to the dark side rather than have him go through what she has been through, and so that he can die who he was. No one else even notices that he is still dark.

Spoilers - Ventress sacrifices herself to save Vos, and by doing so, she brings him back from the dark side (like Jesus), and she also saves the Jedi Council and brings them back to who they really are.

Consensus - This book is awesome. Go read it.

Our visitors today can be heard:

• Cassi - Sarah & Cassi's Nerdy Adventure (podcast)
• Sophie - The Slurred Nerd (podcast)

Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest. You can also email us directly at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com. You can also visit our Nerdy Bitches Store.

On this episode, Heather and Liz talk about Peter Capaldi as The Doctor. This is the 12th doctor (or is he the 13th, with the edition of the War doctor), and our 4th doctor in the new series.

We compare him to previous doctors, including Matt Smith, who is the Labrador of the Doctor Who series. We are also desperate to see River Song come back (and she will at Christmas!).

Capaldi's Doctor is the grumpy doctor we had to kind of grow to love. He is so different from the previous doctors, so it took a little time for the fans (and Clara, as his companion) to warm up. He doesn't ask for permission or approval from the humans - he just gets it done. He has a little glint in his eye that shows he cares, but he isn't outwardly cuddly.

We also really love Capaldi as an actor. We have seen him in several other things, and he is fantastic. If you want to see him in something adorable, check him out in Paddington as the nosy neighbor.

*Random note - We will be creating a new geek cocktail - Sex on a TARDIS.

Check out our Instagram page to see Liz and Heather rocking their new Nerdy Bitches logo tees from our new Zazzle store. Check out the store at zazzle.com/nerdybitchespodcast

FYI - We are pretty much over Clara and are ready for her run to end. Her character has finally gotten a little better, but since she is leaving, we know something is going to happen. We are also still wondering what the hell happened to the kid that Danny Pink sent back from death. And how they ran across Danny's descendant in the future. Did Clara get pregnant and we haven't seen that? Was it that kid that she raised? We just don't know. Is it lazy writing, or will we get the answer two doctors from now?

How do you feel about the switch from Matt Smith to Peter Capaldi? Matt Smith is like a cute baby animal, where as Capaldi is a grumpy cat barn owl.

We had zero bitches this week, so good happy week for the Bitches.

Recommendation:

• Heather: The Nerdist on Comedy Central at midnight
• Liz: Fresh Off the Boat (ABC)

UPCOMING BOOK CLUB: Dark Disciple by Christie Golden

In this episode, Liz and Heather talk about their favorite childhood commercials then and now.

ANNOUNCEMENT – Our next book for the Book Club is Dark Disciple by Christie Golden. This is one of the new Star Wars (canon) books, but is just an awesome book, even if you have never read a Star Wars book. Check it out, as it will be released in a few weeks.

And back to our regularly scheduled commercials! Heading back to the 1980s, when we were barely born (ahem), the commercials were incredibly memorable. To this day, we can remember the songs and jingles even more than the actual products. Some of our favorites are:

• Byyyy Mennen
• I’ve fallen, and I CAN’T GET UP!
• Cereal commercials (Mikey, Lucky Charms, Apple Jacks, etc.)
• Toys R Us
• Bop It and Skip It, Pogo Ball
• My Buddy and Kid Sister
• He-Man vs. She-Ra (early feminists revolt)
• Clappers, Chia Pets, and other As Seen on TV items (bought in the store and/or the TV)
• Zest Soap
• Public Services Announcements – This is your brain on drugs; Cocaine addiction commercials; and I learned it from watching YOU!
• [Things that make us feel really old]

Commercials Now: Not near as cool, since most of us have DVRs, Netflix, Hulu, and things that we use to avoid commercials all together. Branding and marketing is genius. No one looks for a “copy machine,’ they look for a Xerox. In Texas, a Coke could mean any variety of soda.

How do you get our attention in three seconds before we can fast forward through the ad? And now, our old people commercials are looking a lot less old than we remember them looking, thereby making us feel old. And Super Bowl commercials? Forget it. We can watch the Puppy Bowl instead and catch the commercials worth watching tomorrow on YouTube.

Recommendations:

• Heather: The Martian (movie) – Who knew that Matt Damon could act? An excellent movie and highly recommended as a good science movie (doesn’t have to be sci-fi).
• Liz: Tarkin (book) – Star Wars canon book with the backstory on Grand Moff/Governor Tarkin – Tarkin and Vader take a Bro-trip across the galaxy.

Bitch of the Week: People talking to Heather in the morning. Stop talking to us before we have had our morning coffee or pink drink or whatever. Heather is smart enough to use the Do Not Disturb function on her phone. “Good morning” before coffee is a lie.

Random Tweets – “According to all maxi-pad commercials, all women are full of windshield wiper fluid.”

Announcement – We now have an open and active Zazzle store to sell our Nerdy Bitches Podcast merchandise! Thanks to our own Nerdy Bitch Heather and our friend Ofelia for the awesome designs! Here is Liz showing off our logo t-shirt:

Check out all of the NERDY BITCHES PODCAST store options! Make sure you turn your content filter OFF so that you can actually see more than the kid shirts. But, we also have a kid-friendly line.

See you next time!

It's Book Club day! In this episode, Liz and Heather discuss Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Obviously, this episode will be full of spoilers, so make sure you have read the book or, even better, listened to the audiobook narrated by Wil Weaton!

Summary (From the Publisher)

It’s the year 2044, and the real world is an ugly place.

Like most of humanity, Wade Watts escapes his grim surroundings by spending his waking hours jacked into the OASIS, a sprawling virtual utopia that lets you be anything you want to be, a place where you can live and play and fall in love on any of ten thousand planets.

And like most of humanity, Wade dreams of being the one to discover the ultimate lottery ticket that lies concealed within this virtual world. For somewhere inside this giant networked playground, OASIS creator James Halliday has hidden a series of fiendish puzzles that will yield massive fortune—and remarkable power—to whoever can unlock them.

For years, millions have struggled fruitlessly to attain this prize, knowing only that Halliday’s riddles are based in the pop culture he loved—that of the late twentieth century. And for years, millions have found in this quest another means of escape, retreating into happy, obsessive study of Halliday’s icons. Like many of his contemporaries, Wade is as comfortable debating the finer points of John Hughes’s oeuvre, playing Pac-Man, or reciting Devo lyrics as he is scrounging power to run his OASIS rig.

And then Wade stumbles upon the first puzzle.

Suddenly the whole world is watching, and thousands of competitors join the hunt—among them certain powerful players who are willing to commit very real murder to beat Wade to this prize. Now the only way for Wade to survive and preserve everything he knows is to win. But to do so, he may have to leave behind his oh-so-perfect virtual existence and face up to life—and love—in the real world he’s always been so desperate to escape.

A world at stake ... A quest for the ultimate prize ... Are you ready? (From the publisher.).

Note: Both Heather and Liz listened to the audio book.

The nostalgia factor on this book for anyone who grew up in the 1980s is absolutely off the charts. The references to pop culture are so great, you could split a lip. The real world in this book is not that great, so pretty much the entire planet lives and works inside a virtual reality platform called The Oasis. The story picks up after the death of Halliday, the creator of the Oasis with a contest that would lead someone to become the sole heir to his fortune and become the ruler of the Oasis.

Egg hunters = Gunters (Liz hates this word) around the world have been looking, with zero success for years, until Wade finds the first key. Then, all of the sudden, the game is back on and Wade is now being actively perused by everyone on the planet, but especially by the evil Sorrento and his league of professional gunters (the Sixers), who are willing to commit very real murder in order to take control of The Oasis.

This is a long episode, so settle in with your favorite boozylicious cocktail and listen to us talk about this awesome book.

(FYI - Ernest Cline, as of this podcast, is 43 years old, so he is 4 years older than Nerdy Bitch Liz.)

Recommendations

• Heather: The public library. The actual library. Go there. You can actually get e-books through your device from the library!
• Liz: Plexus Slim (aka "the pink drink") - This stuff is changing my life! Since I began taking it back in June, I have slept better, lost weight/inches, gotten rid of my eczema, and have lost all sciatic back pain! It even cut my smoking so far back without even trying, so it has been a money saver too! If you want to know more, you can e-mail me at liz@nerdybitches.com and I will be happy to tell you all about it. If you already know a crazy Plexus lady, talk to them about it. But, otherwise, I would love to change your life. If this stuff can help me (and I'm a medical mutant), I just know it can help anyone. [End salesy stuff]

Bitch of the week - STOP BODY SHAMING PEOPLE! Especially pregnant people! Not cool, dude. And thigh gap is stupid. Just stop shaming people all over. Fat, thin, short, tall, pregnant, whatever - just keep your trap shut!

Next Book Club - Dark Disciple by Christie Golden - This is one of the new canon books in the Star Wars Saga. We will be joined by some other awesome nerdy bitches in studio to discuss this book. Read and learn about the character Asajj Ventress and what she gets done.

This episode is 2015 Movies Part 2; Liz and Heather talk about the remaining movies from September to December this year.

September

• Very few great movies were/are scheduled in September.

October

• Pan
• Jem and the Holograms – SO disappointing that they are changing the story completely

November

• The new James Bond movie (Specter)
• The Peanuts Movie
• The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2

December

• STAR WARS: The Force Awakens – *squeeeeee*
• Point Break – remake. Why?

Bitch of the Week – Why must we remake everything?? Jem? Point Break? Please stop.

Recap – the movies were awesome this year! Unless they weren’t.

Recommendations

• Heather – Goggles4u.com – If you have your prescription, you can go online and order low-cost glasses where you can have multiple pairs of glasses laying around, if you are a bespectacled Nerdy Bitch like us.
• Liz – Lego Jurassic World – This game is so much fun to play! I am playing through Steam, since they no longer make these games for the original Wii and I am not about to buy a new system. It is really geared towards kids, so they don’t really show anyone getting killed. It covers all four Jurassic Park movies and includes actual dialog from the movies.

Real Bitch of the Week – iPhone photographers – you are NOT a professional photographer. Just because you have a nice camera or a high quality phone camera does not mean you can replace the professional who WAS actually hired to shoot the wedding. Get out of the way. If you WANT to do it, learn to do it and do it! Just stop making life harder for those of us who have already done that.

Announcement: We DO now have our very own Nerdy Bitches store! Go check it out atzazzle.com/nerdybitchespodcast – Please note to see the good stuff, you MUST have the site’s content filter turned to OFF. Apparently, the word “bitches” is seen as “offensive” to some. This is also a good place to note that we have heard this and have created a mostly-appropriate line of Nerdy Bitches wear for infants and children that probably won’t get them thrown out of daycare. Mostly.

In Part one of this episode, Liz and Heather talk about 2015 Movies that have already come out and get into the remaining movies for the rest of the year. We ended up going so long that the episode had to be split into two parts – so don’t forget to check back in next week for the second half!

Shout out to Ofelia for some awesome new Nerdy Bitches artwork! We have created a shop for some Nerdy Bitches merchandises, but here are some of the new drawings.

[Literal Nerdy Bitches (L to R: Daphne, Lucy, and Gertrude)]

The list of movies we used came from movieinsider.com, if you would like to follow along. 2015 has been a fantastic movie year and we still have more awesomeness to come!

Heather tends to watch a lot more movies in the theater than Liz, so she has seen more, but here are some of the ones we covered in this episode:

January

• Whiplash
• American Sniper
• Paddington
• Jupiter Ascending

February

• Fifty Shades of Grey
• Kingsmen

March

• Insurgent (The Divergent series – movie 2)

April

• Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
• Age of Adeline

May

• Avengers: Age of Ultron
• Pitch Perfect 2
• Mad Max: Fury Road

June

• Jurassic World (Chris Pratt is sex on a stick. No apologies.)
• Ted 2
• Spy
• Max

July

• Another God Damn Terminator Movie. End Scene.
• Magic Mike XXL
• Minions
• Trainwreck
• Ant Man
• Pixels
• Mission Impossible

August

• Fantastic Four Remake. Next.
• The Man from UNCLE
• Straight Outta Compton
• Hit Man
• American Ultra

Stay tuned for Part 2 – 2015 Movies, coming next week!

Email us at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com with your faves for the year.

In this episode, Liz and Heather discuss how today’s culture of social media has influenced every day communications and culture, and how it has brought about the rise of the nerd/hipster characteristic as a desirable trait.

REMINDER: Our next book club is coming up in a few episodes – Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Read it, or better yet, listen to the audio book narrated by Wil Wheaton.

In the 80s/90s, it was DEFINITELY NOT cool to be thought of as a nerd. Even if you had nerdy tendencies, you kept that shit to yourself. If not, you could count on being viciously mocked (publicly or behind your back) or worse, bullied. The world was a much smaller place, even when we finally got the Internet (Prodigy, AOL, AOL UNLIMITED!!, etc.).

Enter MYSPACE.

• The first time I remember hearing about MySpace was on an episode of Nip/Tuck (the Carver).
• The first time you could actively contact people you knew (or didn’t) without paying for a service like Classmates.com, etc. – This opened up a whole new realm of people to talk to. Maybe someone you haven’t seen since grade school.
• Cyber-stalking your Ex. Admit it. We’ve all done it and have been sublimely happy to see them suffer.

Then came FACEBOOK.

• Even MORE people to connect with, and no annoying music from every grunge band on the planet.
• You could talk to people, or not. Decorate a flair board, or not. Play games, instant message, etc.

TWITTER.

• Twitter was really a game changer for social media. A lot of push back about people talking about themselves, but it opened the lines of communication where they had never been. You could converse directly with a celebrity if you wanted! Yoko Ono and Kelsey Grammar used to follow me on Twitter! Now, I don’t know. I don’t pay attention.
• I once had a conversation with Johnny Galecki on Twitter (Leonard from Big Bang), until I realized he was dumb and the illusion was shattered.
• Wil Wheaton’s wife retweeted a picture of my niece with my dog!! What?? This is not something that was supposed to happen!

THE RISE OF THE NERD

• When exactly did it become cool to be a geek/nerd? At some point, there was a definite switch. At least for ADULT nerds.
• Does it work the same way in high school? Are nerds still outcasts? Or are they wearing bowties and everyone thinks its cool? I need to ask a teenager.
• Instant feedback – No more writing lame poetry into the abyss of a Blogger account. Now, you could see instantly how many people read, liked, or commented, and could adjust accordingly.
• Are nerds REALLY considered cool, or have we all just reached that don’t-give-a-shit age where we are who we are and fuck you if you don’t like it?
• Does social media sort out the different kind of nerds or lump them together?
  • Musical theater geeks, band nerds, dorks,
• Fantasy Football – D&D for jocks… just sayin…
• How has this changed the fabric of our society? Or are the cool kids and bullies still running the show?
• Everyone wants to be a nerd – even if they aren’t. I’m talking to you, HIPSTERS!! Take off your stupid Jayne hat, dorky glasses, and ironic bow tie. If you wouldn’t be caught dead in such things as a teenager, why now? Who said it was cool? Was there a memo?

Recommendations

Heather: Pickelbacks – This is a whisky shot followed by a shot of pickle juice. They are completely delicious and awesome. We are going to make them for the next Boozylicious episode.  We are also now implementing a rule that ALL book clubs after Ready Player One will include booze. Because booze.

Liz: Armada by Ernest Cline – This is the same guy who wrote Ready Player One (a book club episode). I love his references, especially to 80s pop culture icons, music, movies, and games. OH, but like Ready Player One, this one is best listened to as an audiobook, as it is also read by the hilarious Wil Wheaton! Check it out.

Bitch of the Week  – “Share if you agree”  posts on Facebook are driving Heather mad! Just because I don’t want to re-post your stupid post doesn’t mean I want puppies to die. You also cannot ask or buy for likes and shares on Facebook, so be forewarned. Also, don’t undermine our intelligence if our opinions do not align with yours.  

Announcement: We are now selling t-shirts and merch with awesome designs created for us by the insanely talented Ofelia Williams! Keep an eye out on our Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook pages for the latest designs!  Check out our store at www.zazzle.com/nerdybitchespodcast – One word of warning: you have to turn the content filter to OFF to find the good stuff, since apparently we are considered “PG-13”.

Welcome to our Battlestar Galactica episode!!  After two years, Liz finally got Heather to watch the whole series. Was it worth it? Listen to see! Oh, and SPOILERS!

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. – Dwight Schrute, The Office

In this episode, we are talking all about Battlestar Galactica. About two years ago, Heather challenged Liz to watch all of the new episodes of Doctor Who, and Liz challenged Heather to watch the new Battlestar Galactica series.

Enter to win a gorgeous print by Sarita Ackerman by contacting us with the keyword!!

**GIVEAWAY!!!** We are still looking for entries to win this amazing print by local Houston artist, Sarita Ackerman! Listen for the keyword, contact us by email, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc by JULY 31, 2015. We will announce the winner of this drawing on August 1, 2015 on social media and will give a shout-out to the winner on our next podcast.

You can check out the rest of Sarita’s work at www.saritaackerman.com

So, back to Battlestar –

Starbuck! We freaking love her. Apparently, in the original series, Starbuck was a dude. We love her now.

This series was seriously a little tough to get through. Especially if you start with the two-hour mini-series that started the whole thing. If you can push through that (which is kind a slow piece of crap), it gets better.

The first two seasons are more geared toward war, so it was a little less interesting to us. The second half of the series was a little more interesting, because you get into the nuances in the story. It’s also a little more sci-fi than just action.

Leadership Roles

• Laura Roslyn – The President – She was made president by default, as she was the Secretary of Education, but the rest of the chain of command were killed.
• William Adama – The commander of the Battlestar – which was being retired/decommissioned before the Cylon attack.
• Tom Zarik – Rose up as a leader within the prison and became the leader of the resistance and was considered a terrorist.
• Lee Adama – The head of the pilots and the son of the Commander.
• Number One – Brother Cavil – He was a cylon in hiding.
• Gaius Balthar – We hate him. He is terrible and criminally insane. How he fell into leadership is beyond us, but that seems to be the way it goes.

Other characters with key roles – Starbuck, Chief, the Sharons, Heilo, etc.

Character discussions

• Starbuck (Kara Thrace) – We LOVE her. She is an incredibly flawed character, but she is kick ass and awesome.
• The Sharons – Boomer vs. Athena – Boomer had the relationship with the Chief, and Athena found Heilo and fell in love with him. It’s interesting since she is the sleeper cylon, but she is eventually completely incorporated into life with the humans.
• Sal and Ellen Tye – <gag>
• Gaius Balthar – Yuck.
• Six – the blonde Cylon with the red dress (Caprica 6)

Story Arcs talked about at length. The Civil War between the Cylons. Angel of Doom, etc.

Celebrities We Think Could Be Cylons

• Bob Dylan
• Ozzy Osbourne
• Keith Richards
• Joan Jett

CALL TO ACTION – We want to know what topics YOU want us to talk about. Also, if you know someone, or want to be a guest on our show, who is into things we don’t understand, please contact us! You can e-mail us at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com, Twitter, etc.

KEYWORD MENTIONED – Let us know!! We WANT to give you this print!!

Recommendations:

• Heather – Egg Dash (kitchen appliance) – Cooks your eggs perfectly any time!
• Liz – Turbo Jam (workout video) – Beachbody video – I never get tired of this workout!

In this episode, Liz and Heather discuss their favorite bits of information about the Harry Potter world after-the-fact (Potter After Dark).

On the tail of Heather attending Houston's Comicpalooza, we discuss all of our favorite things we have learned about the Harry Potter universe after the series ended. A lot of this came from the Jason Isaacs' (Lucius Malfoy) panel at the convention.

ANNOUNCEMENT:  We have a giveaway! At Comicpalooza, met an awesome artist who gave us a Wonder Woman print ($60 retail value) to give away on our podcast!! Sweet!!! The photo of our giveaway is posted on our Instagram page, so make sure to check it out!  In order to qualify to be in the drawing for this print, we will announce the keyword sometime throughout this podcast - you need to tweet us, Facebook, Instagram, or e-mail us the keyword. You have until July 31, 2015 to enter! You need to make sure it is addressed to us, and you can post the keyword. On August 1st, we will randomly draw the winner and will contact you if you win! We will also announce the winner on our podcast following the drawing. So sign up! The print is amazing!!

Topic 1 – Jason Isaacs' appearance at Houston’s Comicpalooza 2015 and how he impacted the outcome of the Lucius Malfoy character. The video is on YouTube, so make sure to check that out.

Topic 2 – Harry Potter facts we learned after the series/movies ended

• Dumbledore is gay. - We never thought anything about this.
• Rowling is the first person to become a billionaire by writing books.
• Fred & George Weasley were born on April Fool’s Day.
• Draco Malfoy attended Fred’s funeral. He stood in the far back, careful not to be seen. He’d never let on that he secretly thought the twins were quite funny, and he was truly sorry he’d been part of the reason Fred died. He felt that way about all who died, but he would have never attended the funeral. Draco would never tell anyone he was there, and George would never tell anyone he saw Draco cry, apologizing to the headstone.
• Vladimir Putin was pissed about the portrayal of Dobbie because he felt it was based on him.
• Dumbledore & Harry saw the same thing when they looked into the Mirror of Erised – Themselves reunited with their families.
• Voldemort was incapable of loving someone because he was conceived under the effect of a love potion.
• A Patronus often mutates to take the image of the love of one’s life because they so often become the happy thought that generates a Patronus. This is why Snape’s Patronus was Lily’s doe.
• Severus Snape is the only Deatheater who can produce a Patronus.
• Harry, Ron, and Herminoe were all put on Chocolate Frog cards. Both Ron and Albus Dumbledore consider this their greatest achievements

Topic 4 – Horcrux in Harry vs. the Dursleys (from the article) – Is this why they were so cruel? Horcruxes make people that much worse, even if they are already terrible people. We don't know if this is intentional by Rowling, but it makes sense to us and becomes Head Canon.

Topic 3 – From the article “37 things the Harry Potter movies need to answer (to the books)”, here are a few that we agree definitely needed to be mentioned in the movies.

• Aunt Petunia’s howler from Dumbledore and why they were unable to just kick Harry out when they clearly hated him. They don't explain to the audience why Petunia was so jealous and hateful.
• The Elder wand - in the book, he uses the wand to mend his own wand and then places it back with Dumbledore. In the movie, without fixing his own wand - he breaks it in half and chucks it over the side of the bridge.
• Where the heck did the Weasley twins get the money to open a shop when their family is really poor? They got it from Harry.
• Dumbledore’s backstory. Seriously? “This was his sister” is about all that comes out of it, when it was truly complex.
• The Marauders were never explained – Who were they and how were they connected to Harry? And what did Harry do with the map after Hogwarts?
• All memories connected with horcruxes are removed, so how can people really understand what they are?
• Weasley house fire. That never happened. How could they afford to rebuild?

 **Keyword mentioned**

Internet comment of the week – “I didn’t get in, but it was still neat to have a small owl deliver my rejection letter.” – Commentary from The Onion

Bitch of the Week – (Heather) – Stores not having enough people to run the store. Especially during the busiest times of the day! The stores are trying to save money by cutting their employees, but they are doing it at the expense of their customers.

Mr. Massingill Award - The dude with the shoe ad. (check out Pinterest page for the full report)

Recommendations –

• Liz – Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Netflix series)
• Heather – Criminal Activities (movie - coming out Sept/Oct 2015)
• AND Bossypants by Tina Fey (book)

Don't forget to enter into the drawing!! This print is really cool! Send us the keyword through social media or through e-mail!!

Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest

You can e-mail us at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com, or you can e-mail each of us directly at liz@nerdybitches.com or heather@nerdybitches.com

Welcome to the second Nerdy Bitches Book Club: The Divergent Series by Veronica Roth! We decided not to cover just one at a time, but all three books at once, so we are talking super spoilers here!! We are covering the BOOKS, not the movies.

So, here we go!! We would love your feedback on our opinions, as well as your own, so you can always e-mail us.

Book 1: Divergent: We learn about the different factions that exist in this society, and how they came to be. Each of the factions has their good point, but of course will all have a downfall. The main character, Beatrice/Tris, begins in Abnegation and chooses to move into Dauntless during her choosing ceremony. Once the kids choose their new faction, they have to prove themselves worthy, or risk becoming "factionless." Liz: Dauntless or Candor; Heather: Candor. We pretty much think that most people would really be Divergent. We were completely blown away about the Factions Before Family theme. Every faction had both good and bad leaders. Also, each faction has their own serum for controlling their people, overcoming fear, and the super evil shit serum. Lots of good action in this book. We love Four/Tobias in this book and his training of Tris throughout the story. It was a little stupid that people had no idea that Four was Marcus's son and the only other one to leave Abnegation. The plot holes are pretty deep. Anyways, the Erudite uses the serum on Dauntless and has them take out a bunch of people. Tris kills Will and then becomes completely fucking worthless.

Book 2: Insurgent: This is the aftermath of the Erudite takeover. We start to find out that they are hiding a lot from everyone else. We also learn more and more about the Factionless and how many there really are, including Four's mother, who was supposed to be dead. Four kicks some major ass throughout this book, but he does become obnoxiously protective of Tris and keeps telling her that she is being reckless. Tris is Abnegation AND Dauntless... of COURSE she is going to be both selfless and brave. And Tris's piece of shit brother, Caleb! OMG!! He totally strapped her to the table to be murdered! Douchenozzle. Not only did he betray his sister, he also betrayed his parents and is basically the reason they are dead! We would have shot him in the head ourselves. The ending of this book was pretty good. They killed off Jeanine and that would have been the end... except then we had to show that damn Edith Prior video. This is the curse of the trilogy. We blame you, Stephanie Meyer, George R.R. Martin, and the like.

**THIS IS WHERE THE SERIES SHOULD HAVE ENDED. BUT, IT DID NOT.**

Book 3: Allegiant: This is where the real bullshit begins. From the second chapter, I knew what was going to happen because the story starts changing points of view. This didn't happen in the first two, but once that happens, you know that one of those points of view most likely will not be around for the end of the story. The story was not well written, and the author keeps drilling things into our heads that don't need to be there. This poor girl is 16 years old and basically becomes the face of this revolution. Hello, Katniss Everdeen much?? We really feel like the concept was stolen from much better writers. Now, they are outside the gate only to find out that they are part of a giant genetic purification experiment. FYI - None of this was science. It was purist bullshit. And in this book - anything you enjoyed or cared about in the first two books is totally fucking gone. Might as well never have been written. We found out that Tobias is actually NOT Divergent, which completely changes his entire personality. Boo. Now let's blame it on his "genetic deficiency" to remove any and all responsibility for his actions.

At this point - Heather goes on a rant about Tris and her terrible Kate Goslin/soccer mom haircut. That's not badass!!

And FYI - Tris and Four DID have sex in the third book. It's in Chapter 41. They don't come out and say it because it is a Young Adult book. Read it again. That is the YA version of sex. I was so freaking happy that they finally did it. Of course, that means one of you is going to die.

And now we come to it - We've had POV shifts, no consistency - and then comes the worst ending of any book that I was actually enjoyed reading. Right at the end, she kills off Tris. Fuck you, Veronica Roth. Fuck you very much. We didn't need Tobias and his mother having a fairy tale ending. We needed Tris and Tobias to actually live happily ever after. Veronica Roth apparently thinks she is well above her writing. You cannot kill off your main character in a YA novel! The Bernstein Bears never fucking die at the end! Come on!!!

We will never read anything else of hers, for sure. Ms. Roth tried to blog about why she killed her off - and it was just lame. Her logic is illogical. She also said that she would kill off Harry Potter if she had written that. Yeah, that's why you didn't write that!

Liz's sister keeps clinging to the hope that they will change the ending of the third movie, but I'm pretty sure that would be like saying "The end of Titanic is just too depressing... let's let them all get to New York together!" Lame. Heather is completely offended that Ms. Roth thinks she is that good of an author.

The morale of this story is - Sometimes, two books is just enough. And, when you write everything to the point of absolute stupidity - you lose us.

Bitch of the Week - Killing characters off for sport/shock/awe value. We are talking to you, George R. R. Martin. Never fall in love with a character because they will be gone. The drinking game for Game of Thrones is to drink until the pain stops. Douchebags always rise to the top.

Internet comments (in-context):

Don't waste your time on this corny love story stretched into three lame books. Not even the same ballpark as Hunger Games. BTW - she dies at the end. - Amazon 1-star review

Recommendations:

• Heather - John Wick (movie) - Action movie for action's sake
• Liz - Ready Player One by Ernest Cline (book) - Audio book is narrated by Wil Wheaton. Super awesome geek references from 1980s pop culture.

Ready Player One will be our next book club episode in a few weeks time!!

Follow us on Twitter (@nerdybitchespod); Instagram (@nerdybitches); Pinterest (@nerdybitches); and our Facebook page here.

E-mail any feedback to us at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com

MOTHERFUCKING CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY!!! On this episode, Liz and Heather invite fellow nerdy bitches Michelle and Kitty (from our Boozylicious/Geek Cocktails episode) back into the studio to play a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity!! You DON'T want to miss a minute!

Cards Against Humanity is described as a "Party Game for Horrible People," so you know you want to play! We are definitely going to hell in a handbasket! The game itself is very similar to Apples to Apples, yet much more adult and hilarious.

*Warning* - This is not an episode to hear with the kiddos around. It is REALLY NSFW, so remember - we warned you!

Liz explains the rules of the game for everyone, including Kitty, who was a CAH virgin before this game. We popped her cherry, though!

• Black Cards: The judge plays a card to be answered by the white cards. These are also called Awesome Points when you win them.
• White Cards: 10 in your hand. You pick the best option to answer the question posed on the black card.
• The judge receives all of the cards and picks their favorite answer. Whomever the white card belongs to wins the Awesome Point.
• The one with the most Awesome Points at the end of the game is the winner!

We have determined that this game counts as a ab workout if you laugh hard enough. And we do... We also decided not to let Producer Craig play because he has "too many Y-chromosones." Apparently one is just too many ;-)

Our next episode is our 2nd Book Club episode where we review the Divergent series by Veronica Roth. This episode will cover all three books in the series and will, of course, have major spoilers! Make sure you have read the books or that you don't want to read them before listening!! We may or may not rip this series a new asshole! Be sure to tune in to find out all the bitchiness.

Want to be a guest on our show?? - We are looking for fellow Nerdy Bitches who are experts in their area of Geekdom to join us on our podcast and teach us about some new areas! If you are interested in coming on our show, please contact us directly at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com and let us know what you want to talk about. Possible areas could include: Anime, Cosplay, Tarrot, Roller Derby, and so on...

Don't forget to follow us on social media!! This will become REALLY important in the next few episodes!! We will be doing a giveaway soon! Make sure you don't miss out on that!!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Pinterest
• Instagram

In this episode, Liz and Heather invite some friends into the studio to get Boozylicious with some amazing geek cocktails! This week, our friends Michelle and Kitty join us in celebrating some of our favorite geek movies and series with their favorite geek beverages.

This all started when we saw a YouTube video based on people trying the drinks from the Harry Potter universe, but we decided to expand on that premise. Michelle also schools us on home brewing and the dangers of drinking home beer long after it has been bottled. Heather also explains Craft Beer to those of us who don't know what they are.

Now, for our cocktails!!

Round One:

• Liz: Girl on Fire (from The Hunger Games) - 1.5 oz Torched Cherry Rum, 3 oz Mango Juice (OJ/Mango combo), maraschino cherry juice, and one cherry. This has been agreed upon as a breakfast drink. Or a hidden beach drink!
• Michelle: Two variations on the Old Fashioned - Rum Old Fashioned and a Sazerac Rye. The rum version was enjoyed by all. The rye... let's just say we were split on the enjoyment.
• Kitty: Fizzing Whizby - sparkly! Bourbon liquor, fernet branca, tonic. We like the taste and it is pretty!
• Heather: Sonic Screwdriver (Doctor Who) - blue curacao, vanilla vodka, Sprite. We all agreed that this was really good!! Looks like Windex, but absolutely doesn't taste like it. (Anthropologist Michelle schools us on a tribe of blue penised men in Africa)

Round Two:

• Liz: Butterbeer (Harry Potter) - Half root beer, half cream soda, and a shot butterscotch schnapps. Heather also made us a butterbeer cake, which was freaking awesome!
• Michelle: Homemade Mead: This one was kind of a fail. The orange mead was described as "drinkable." Liz described it as orange socks.
• Kitty: Dragon's Milk - Cinnamon cream rum with Coke. We added some Fireball to give it the perfect kick.
• Heather: Grootbeer Float (Guardians of the Galaxy) - Rootbeer float with bourbon. Delish!!

Thank you Michelle and Kitty for joining us!! We can't wait to have you back again!

xo,

Liz & Heather

Welcome to Episode 13 - Guilty Pleasures! This episode, Liz and Heather talk about their favorite guilty pleasures and what makes them guilty. Could it be social acceptability of age-related interests? Am I too old to do these things?

What makes it guilty?

• Food - It isn't good for you or is deemed "lower quality". Shut up. We like corn dogs.
• Social - Smoking. Man, the looks you get when you are a smoker. The worst are former smokers!! It is not your place to be healthy on my behalf. Imposing your views on someone else is not ok. And the breastfeeding/formula debate? Just feed your kid!

Why do people try to make us feel guilty? Or are they trying to make us guilty or is that our own internal dialog? Heather thinks that people don't give a shit (too busy with their own stuff) and Liz thinks they do, because it gives them the ability to feel better about their own stuff.

Monster Truck Shows, Bouncy Castles

Our Guilty Pleasures:

• Liz - Coloring books. LOVE them. I can't draw to save my ass, so this is a great way for me to get out my creative expression. Recent coloring books: Unicorns are Jerks, Mer-World Problems, and Dinosaurs with Jobs (available on Amazon). 
• Heather - Roller Derby - taking a class on how to play roller derby. A lot of fun and a lot of learning (especially how to fall). This is a young gals game, but I'm still having a lot of fun.

Food is a huge pleasure - guilty or not. Wavy Lays, a whole box of Twinkies, Little Debbie snack cakes. Easy Cheese (spray cheese) - delicious. Ranch dressing - it is the universal condiment...it goes on anything!! 2,000 calorie salads? Yes, please. Miracle Whip vs. Mayo.

TV - Glee; MASH; Cosby Show; Frasier - Now we can get sucked in to binge watching our favorite guilty pleasure shows, thanks to Netflix.

Books - Crappy romance novels (Twilight), kids books (Ramona the Pest), chick-lit/girl porn, Sookie Stackhouse books, Shopaholic series, Young Adult (YA) novels - And WE LOVE E-READERS!! They are the best thing in the world for hiding the fact that you are reading something trashy.

Movies - Shawshank Redemption (is it guilty or just good??); Bad network tv movies - Cobra; Eraser, Commando, Predator, The Running Man (These are basically the exact same movie - trust me). FYI - Rae Dawn Chong is actually the daughter of Tommy Chong.

Food Porn - Pinterest, Instagram, Food Network

Stalking People You Hate on the Internet - Former flames, people we hated forever, etc. It's addicting to see how people are crashing and burning on social media.

Bitch of the Week: Schizophrenic Social Media - That super religious person on Sunday, but back to being a psychotic bitch on Monday. We also feel that God would be upset with making assumptions on his behalf (telling other people that God hates them for whatever).

Recommendations:

• Heather: Marian Keyes (Books) (Check Here)
• Liz: The Marriage Series by Jennifer Probst - Chick-lit / Girl porn - well written, not overt or disgusting. It's a four book series, so start with the first one, as they build on each other.

Out of Context Internet Comment

Twilight - A girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality.

Reminder about our next book club choice - The Divergent Series by Veronica Roth (Episode 16). Be sure to read all three books, as there WILL be spoilers! Big ones!!

Send all e-mails and your favorite guilty pleasure to ContactUs@nerdybitches.com and be sure to follow us on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter!

HELLO! MY NAME IS INIGIO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!

This episode, Liz and Heather are introducing the first Nerdy Bitches Book Club - The Princess Bride by William Goldman. We will talk in depth on the differences in the book and the movie. Please note there WILL be spoilers in this episode... it's a book club.

This is a tough book to categorize, as it has adventure, romance, and so many other facets. Heather grew up having the book read to her, but this was Liz's first time to read the book. Liz started watching the movie in high school, so the book was completely new.

The book is very different from the movie in the fact that the book is full of asides where the author is breaking in to the story to describe what he is changing from the "original S. Morgenstern" and also what he is thinking and why. [Example: I have removed 86 pages describing hats.] Other differences:

• The Zoo of Death (vs. the Pit of Despair from the movie) - 5 levels full of animals that the Prince likes to hunt and kill for fun. It's a fun component of the book that didn't make it to the movie, but the movie did just fine without it.
• The author's storyline throughout the book obviously didn't make it to the movie. Spoiler - it's all total bullshit, which is good as he is a douchebag to his imaginary son in the book.
• A LOT of additional information on Inigio and Fessik, which we like, but it gets a little tedious. There is a lot of information given in the 30th anniversary edition on actually working with the actors, including Andre the Giant. Definitely worth a read, but could be skimmed pretty quickly in subsequent readings.

We found some of the style a little of a slap in the face with some of the fakey bullshit in the book. We were also annoyed with Buttercup's Baby - so you can just skip that load of crap. He really screws with you! The movie is definitely the good stuff.

Have fun storming the castle! - Miracle Max

We also go through some of our favorite quotes from the movie, so join in!

Heroes of the story—The Dread Pirate Roberts (Heather) & Fessik (Liz)

Book Club Questions (from the book):

1. What does this book talk about writing, in general?
2. Does the story Westley tells about becoming the Dread Pirate Roberts make him the same Farm Boy? Does it make him a more interesting character?

Next Book Club - The Divergent Series by Veronica Roth (4 weeks)

Bitch of the Week - Online parties on Facebook/social media - We used to get invited to one party on one day. Now, we have to deal with this for a freaking month and be constantly harassed by the host. You can't just order and be done with it. We need wine and snacks, people. WINE AND SNACKS!!

Recommendations

• Heather: The Flash (TV show)
• Liz: Psych (TV show) - Netflix (MASH is also on Netflix, so watch that too!)

Random Internet Comment of the Week

A small minority of murderous nuts doesn't make us all murderers and nuts. - mathematicians and atheists

Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. E-mail us directly at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com with any questions, comments, or glowing reviews. Make sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes and leave a 5-star rating!

This week, the Nerdy Bitches talk all things Harry Potter. We are supermassive fans of the series, both books and movies. Why were they on the banned list at one point?

Liz is currently reading the books to and watching the movies with her 7-year-old niece.

Themes

• Friendship - They aren't completely torn apart by petty shit. They always come back together and have each others backs. Each character has his or her strengths and weaknesses, and they play off of those well. Harry probably wouldn't have made it very far without Ron and Hermoinie. Additional friendships come in to play as the series - Luna, Hagrid, Neville, Ginny, etc.
• Good vs. Evil - This is a very strong theme throughout the whole series. But even within the good and bad, there are factions of good and evil within. Example - The Malfoys. They are terrible people, but mostly because they don't even have any motivation to do anything but follow what is easy. As we go through the series, we can see that Draco starts changing and isn't ready to just go in full force.
• Girls Kick Ass - The main character is Harry, but where would he be without Hermoinie? Hell, he can't even fix his own glasses without her!
• Some struggles are worthwhile - You have to go through the bad to get to the good. This series teaches youngsters that they CAN make a difference and stand up for what is right (just because it is right).

Are we the only ones who think that Hogwarts is the most dangerous school on the planet?? Why do people keep sending their children there? For example, why in the world would the Tri-Wizard Tournament even be a thing? Like is it ok to let 14-17 year olds play in some tournament that could kill them?

Where do magical children go to school before age 11? Do they go to Muggle school? Are they home schooled? What gives? What happens to the Squibs? Do you have to go to Muggle school? Are you just out? We need to know these things, J.K.

Favorite Characters

• Heather's: Snape! - It didn't happen immediately, but he's all Alan Rickman, so how could you not like that? He's just awesome and hates stuff. The ultimate red herring in the series. We never saw that coming, even when they were showing us his good side all along.
• Liz's: So many. All of the characters are so well developed. But top 4 - Hermoinie, Luna, Hagrid, and Neville. They come out of the woodworks to help out and save the day. We love how Luna was always true to who she was - weird and all.

Least Favorite Characters

• Delores Umbridge - gag!! Pure evil. All she cared about was power. She never cared who she hurt to get there.
• The Durselys. Just mean people for no real reason. Jealous and hateful to Harry, almost to the end. Uncle Vernon has zero redeeming qualities. We do love that Dudley and Harry get to be friends at the end.

The Dumbledore Twist - What the hell? Everything along the way tells us that Dumbledore is the benevolent figure - until the end, when we find out that he has really been keeping Harry safe until it is the right time for him to die. Backstory on Dumbledore - also power hungry in his younger days, but when bad shit happens, his life changed.

You think you know people, but you don't always.

And then there's Hagrid. We LOVE Hagrid. He is the one person from the very beginning to always put himself out there for Harry. He really was a father-figure to Harry. He is sorely overlooked in this capacity. He is consistently good.

Bitch of the Week: Movie theater close-sitters: Hello, I got to the movie on-fucking-time, so no, I am not moving so you can sit together 2/3rds of the way back. Sit up front like the rest of the late assholes. If the theater's not full, you get to sit on the very edge or the front four rows. If you wanted a good seat, you should have got here on time. Once the lights go down... game over. I'm in my spot - I don't need to make more of an effort for your late ass.

Out of Context Comment of the Week:

Unless they say Hogwarts on the ass a'la juicy couture, these are a rip off... And even if they do, I dont want the word "warts" that close to my genitals. – JM 

Recommendations:

• Heather: AdBlock extension (free) - Blocks all flashing ads/banner ads, etc.
• Liz: Retailmenot.com - Find coupon codes online for just about anything you want to buy.

Next week - Book Club! Princess Bride! Join us for the fun!

E-mail us with any feedback at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com. You can always find us on Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Also, give us a 5-star review on iTunes and we will shoot Delores Umbridge out of a cannon!

On this episode, the Bitches talk about Rabid Fandoms!

Ten Superheros Who Can Never Have Sex (abridged)

• The Incredible Hulk
• Hancock
• Rogue (X-Men)
• Superman
• Spiderman
• The Thing (Fantastic Four)

Fans Who Ruin Things for the Rest of Us: (Click for link to original article)

• Browncoats who won't let Firefly go. We get it. It was canceled and that sucks. Guess what? It's still canceled. It definitely didn't get a chance to outlive its awesomeness. At least we got Serenity to wrap things up.
• Game of Thrones book snobs. Heads are going to explode when Martin starts killing off people in the show that didn't die in the books.
• Sonic the Hedgehog Erotica Enthusiasts. What. The. Fuck? Is this like Furries/Plushies? (Liz explains that Bronies are NOT in this category.)
• *Insert Gaming Console Here* Elitists - My console is better than YOUR console. Get over yourself.
• Gamers Who Still Want Gaming to Be a Boy's Club.

Reference Article: “10 Things I'm Going to Have to Tell My Gamer Daughter” by Houston Press author Jef Rouner [http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2015/02/10_unfortunate_things_im_going_to_have_to_tell_my_gamer_daughter.php]

Even when you do see female characters a lot of the time they're going to be indistinguishable from power-ups or trophies. It's called objectification, and it sucks because it costs female characters big chunks of their humanity. If the woman's role could be replaced with an inanimate object with little to no change then you're seeing it, and it should trouble you.

Older male gamers may try to make you feel guilt or pity, claiming that they were picked on and snubbed by girls for their interest in video games in their youths. Empathy is fine, but the past transgressions of girls who for whatever reason (maybe because they were not really invited to the party by the industry?) treated gamers poorly are not your concern. The focus should be on eliminating current and future bullying, not maintaining a toxic space where old wounds can fester in the free air untreated.

Here is a good quote - Don't raise your kids to be little tiny douchebags.

Other unusual Fandoms?

• Harry Potter Meet-up Group - We joined this group two years ago. Please stop hating on the Hufflepuffs. Such a weird experience, and yet kind of cool. Long story short - plan appropriately for the size of your audience in your venue. If your ass rubs across our faces, it makes it weird.
• Role Playing Gaming Meetups - We met some awesome nerds (and a few not-so-awesome nerds)
• Furries vs. Bronies (NOT the same)
• Trekkies
• LARPers (Go watch Knights of Badassdom - Fair warning it is TERRIBLE and a little awesome.)
• Cosplayers

Cosplayers we like and don't like.

Like: Cross-gender, Steampunk, awesome costumes

Don't like: Lazy, Duct tape, Halloween costumes, etc.

Why do people want to associate with the bad guys?

• Villians?
• Klingons, Slytherins, etc.
• Hey, I’m an asshole?

If you were a bully growing up - Send us an e-mail. We are totally interested in hearing if you were into the good guys or the bad guys.

Bitch of the Week: Childhood Ruined!! Here's the deal - changes or revelations about our favorite things in the past do not ruin your childhood. Because childhood is done. It can't be changed not. It might change the way you look at things going forward, but nothing is really any different than it was before you learned about it. Get over yourself and quit whining. If you want something that WILL ruin your childhood, go checked out the Scientifically Accurate videos on YouTube (Ninja Turtles, Spiderman, Duck Tales... be warned - these videos are NOT safe for work and are completely disturbing on every level). Go watch. We'll wait.

Out of Context Comment of the Week:

DC, ya done gone fuqed up again!

Recommendations of the Week:

• Liz: Goodreads (App) - Tracking what you are reading, what you want to read, and challenges for readings in the future. You can also see what your friends are reading and get great suggestions for your next book.
• Heather: Whiplash (Movie) - Available on DVD and On Demand - Nominated for Best Picture.

REMINDER - Two weeks from today is our first Nerdy Bitches BOOK CLUB!! Our first selection is The Princess Bride by William Goldman. If you haven't started, get reading, bitches!!

Remember to follow the Bitches on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest AND to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave us some awesome feedback! If you want to e-mail us directly, send all e-mails to ContactUs@nerdybitches.com or complete the form on the Contact page. We read all of our fan e-mails and may even give you a shoutout on our show! (AKA we will TOTALLY give you a shoutout on our show)

Welcome to Vag Power, with the Nerdy Bitches! In this episode, Heather and Liz discuss how women are portrayed in movies, video games, and comics.

Liz tells her story of her niece's realization of how discount/overstock stores work. Nerdy bitch in the making? Absolutely!

Clothing:

Comment from Jessica, a loyal listener:

“Right now I'm playing Legion of Heroes on my android phone and am trying to figure out the practicality of a lot of the outfits. I play games sometimes and I have to wear a blanket OVER my official gaming bathrobe because my female characters look so fucking cold….”

“I know men are the main demographic for video games, and I know men like seeing scantily clad women. Got it, but how would men feel if they saw their character fighting trolls on a snowy mountain in a Speedo? Their testicles would shrink INTO their small intestines.”

Fair point, Jessica. We agree!! Check out this video that completely describes what you are talking about: Female Armor Sucks

Even your average three-year old understands that it isn't fair that Wonder Woman doesn't get armor, but Batman does (with nipples!)

Listen to how we feel about an all-female Avengers. Check out the Hawkeye Initiative to see how it would really look if male characters were drawn like female characters. (And we vote Death to Duckface!!)

The Bechdel Test - Does it have a good representation of women?

• It has to have at least two named-female characters in it,
• who talk to each other, and
• about something besides a man.

What movies failed? Avengers, Spiderman, Batman (new or old), Superman

Let's talk about the ways in which media has gotten women's roles right:

• Agents of Shield
• Agent Carter
• Big Bang Theory
• Guardians of the Galaxy

What does the future hold? We've come a long way, but still have a ways to go. We have hope with Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel coming up in the next few years.

ANNOUNCEMENT: We are announcing our first official choice for the Nerdy Bitches Book Club: Princess Bride by William Goldman. We will be discussing this book in three weeks (Episode 12)! Go, read it. Then listen. It's a book club, so there will absolutely be spoilers.

Random - Liz reveals her awesome Zombie Apocalypse Plan. Heather is just planning to burn her home down while still inside.

Bitch of the Week: Electronic addictions. Video games (Heather) and Internet (Liz).

Out of Context Quote of the Week:

“A story about a female superhero is just too far-fetched. Studios won’t make what they can’t sell. They'll stick to machine gun raccoons and emotionally complex house plants. It’s just easier for people to relate.” -BigLuca

Recommendations:

• Heather: The Hawkeye Initative (thehawkeyeinitiative.com)
• Liz: The Ghost and the Darkness (movie) - on Netflix

Follow us on Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram!

E-mail us directly at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com

Subscribe to the Podcast on iTunes and leave a fabulous 5-Star Review!! We will totally give you a shout-out on the podcast!

Welcome to the wonderful world of Pinterest! This week, we talk about how amazing and addictive Pinterest can be for the average bear.

We talk about Pinterest followers and basic Pinterest etiquette.

• Repinning cool shit from other people
• Creating a wishlist (and buying things for people based on things they have pinned)
• Remembering to change the text from another pinner so you don't look like an illiterate dumbshit

Things that we like to pin:

• Shit we want.
• Food. We like to eat.
• Geeky stuff.
• Things we would love to do in our home, but never will.
• Digital hoarding.
• Fan art, tattoos, etc. that we love, but can't afford to buy.
• Recommendations for our podcast (go check our site here).
• FONTS!
• Organizational tips

Pinterest can be so fun, but it can also be a massive time-suck. It is a procrastinator's dream! Imagine a place where people can find a Golden Girls cross-stitch pattern (and buy it), find a new recipe that you just HAVE to try, Harry Potter house scarves, AND people with your same sense of humor? This is your place.

The visual part of Pinterest is so much better than using Bookmarks in your browser. It makes it easier to remember things that you have seen and want to use/try/do. We probably would have never found Etsy without the wonder of Pinterest!! And that, friends, would be a real shame. Also, CROCHETED SHARK SOCKS!!!!

Our Mr. Massingil Award and Bitch of the Week goes to (from Tinder): Josh. Wow.

Tangent - Online dating. Yikes!

Recommendations:

• Liz: Firefly (TV series) and Serenity (Movie) - Available on Netflix
• Heather: Chuck (TV series) - Available on Netflix

So, sit back with your iPad or laptop and listen to us talk about Pinterest.

Make sure to e-mail us at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes. Feel free to leave a 5-star rating!!

Also, follow us on Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

Welcome to the Nerdy Bitches Toy Nostalgia episode! This episode, we are talking toys! Not those toys… kid toys that we loved and those that are making a come back for the newer generations.

We talk about toys and series which have made a comeback:

• Care Bears
• My Little Pony
• Scooby Doo

And others that would NEVER be allowed today that our parents totally bought for us and/or things that would never work with kids:

• Pogo sticks
• Pogo balls (basically, all things jumping and breaking your leg)
• Speak and Spell – These were awesome in the day, but they would never fly with today’s tech-savvy kids
• Alfie the Robot

Some of our favorites:

• He-Man/She-Ra (and the gender differences between the series – condescending, much?)
• Rainbow Brite
• Barbie (We don’t actually like her, but we talk about that crazy bitch a lot)
• Dolls
• Fashion Plates, Lite-Brite, Spirograph, and more!

We have also seen a huge resurgence in old toys popping up on E-Bay for big bucks! We probably could have paid for college with the money off the old toys. But if you really think you will buy new toys in order to sell them later – you’re probably a hoarder. Seek help (read: Beanie Babies crazies).

What did we do before the Internet?? We ordered shit out of the back of catalogs and comic strip books. We used stamps and self-addressed stamped envelopes (SASEs!) to buy Sea Monkeys and shit.

While we are not nostalgic for the less-technological days, we do miss the toys. They were way cooler than the toys that are out today. Lawn darts and blow guns and BB-guns, oh my!

Best Christmas gift ever:

• Heather: Game Boy
• Liz: Ballerina doll (Dream Dancer)

Worst Christmas gift ever:

• Heather: Tin tea sets
• Liz: Video tape rewinder

Bitch of the Week – Dogs and Fireworks do not go together. Liz’s poor dogs were completely terrorized by fireworks for two solid weeks. No bueno.

Recommendations

• Heather: Moulin Rouge (Netflix) and Hugo (kid’s film)
• Liz: Shark Week!! Completely obsessed with Shark Week, and Planet Earth (BBC version), and all things nature shows.

For suggestions or future topics, email us at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com!  You can also follow us on Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Be sure to leave an awesome 5-star review on iTunes or comment on this post.

This is it, nerds! Episode VI – Star Wars vs. Star Trek!!

In this episode, Liz and Heather each take a side as we talk about our favorite space franchises evah! Let’s face it, as Nerdy Bitches, we love them both. But we defy anyone to say that they love them exactly the same. If you say you do, you are either lying or a coward. Pick a side, folks!

We talk about:

• Sci-Fi versus Fantasy (in SPACE!)
• Star Trek’s Prime Directive (Science/Logic)
• The Force (Emotion)
• Female roles in each franchise
• Star Wars: Episode VII coming in December 2015!!
• Fan-base of each franchise
• Fan reactions to each franchise releasing new movies
• A quick shout out to Spaceballs!
• JJ Abrams: Star Trek reboots vs. Star Wars: Episode VII
• Carrie Fisher’s Wishful Drinking – Go watch it. We will wait.
• And so much more…

Bitch of the Week – People who put their dogs/children/cars as their avatars or profile pictures on Facebook. People are hiding their real selves out of insecurity or to be giant online douchebags. Just put your pictures on there and get over yourself.

Recommendations (as seen on our Pinterest page):

• Heather: sheroes.wordpress.com (RSS feed) – Learn about awesome females whom you may never have heard of and what they are doing. (Also check out Mighty Girls on Facebook)
• Liz: Shadows of the Empire (book) by Steve Perry – a book set between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. It’s a great insight into the training of Luke Skywalker, and into the mind of Darth Vader.

Mr. Massingill Award – For outstanding performance in douchebaggery (both online and off!)

• Our very first winner is: Phil B! Take a listen and see why! Congratulations, Douchebag!

Be sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest! Also, please leave an awesome 5-star review on iTunes for us, m’kay? As always, please e-mail us at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com.